this year has seen so many changes, things i don't need to write down now (hey, you've all been along with me for the ride), and such a range of feeling. and, to a degree, this summer has been a little bit of everything rolled into 6 short weeks. i have lived these mornings and afternoons, these evenings, just as i have wanted to. and that has been my tonic. this summer has meant that i have chipped off the crust of my past and found, under it, the me that was somehow lost.
i have been jokingly describing that previous chapter of my life as my wilderness years. the years that i spent away from my friends, away from my family and out of the loop. away from myself, you could say. but this summer, and the months leading up to it, i found the map and took myself home. and boy am i glad i did.
i partied, i laughed, i slept, i looked, i read, i rested, i played, i worked, i helped, i cooked, i listened, i talked, i sang, i danced, i thought. i thought a lot, about a lot of things. some deeply, some not so deeply. i dreamed.
the rational part of my brain asks 'but what did you actually complete?'. but i know, as it knows, that it doesn't matter. i may not have made anything. i may not have prepared for school. i may not have done any work on my house. but what i have done, what i have achieved, cannot be measured in the same way.
and now, with a thump, i am back into the last week. smack down into reality. back to real life. preparations to make, work to do, things to organise. i won't pretend i'm not scared or apprehensive, because i am, but i know I KNOW i can do it. i can do it all. i can do anything.
work, love, life, laughter, friends, joy: the next bit of the path. the road goes ever on and on..
